Recovering after dating a borderline
In addition to the kind of intelligence you can measure on an IQ test, there’s emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is about monitoring emotions—both your own and those of the people around you—and then using this knowledge to guide your thinking and actions.
It can be triggered by immediate threats of rejection or abandonment paired with frustration.
I asked her in a very even tone of voice, “What are you getting upset about?
” For the rest of the day she sulked and gave me the silent treatment.” “My mother is the master of double-binds.
When I call her as soon as I get home at the end of my day, she is short and rude because she is in the middle of something.
But if I wait until later in the evening to call, she says in an accusatory way, “You’ve been home for how long? ” People often try to avoid feeling bad about their own unpleasant traits, behaviors, or feelings by attributing them (often in an accusing way) to someone else.