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A man who likes a woman will spend more time with her than that, no matter how busy his job, his kids, etc. I don’t think you have to compromise and accept that, and be basically there at his whim. now that I know he also had someone else as well, I want to throw this out there.

If it’s on his terms, I would wonder how interested he really IS.

She continued, “He wants you on his terms — when and where it works for him. If only one of you is compromising, then the power is unbalanced.

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What do you think the balance is for each person to feel s/he is getting the relationship on his/her own terms?

You’ve GOT to have the things that are seriously important to you, and the minor things you can compromise on.

But only seeing you maybe 3 or 4 times a month and refusing tpo plan in advance for the most part ?

Sometimes an element of control can add some spice if it remains mild and in that case its better to be the flame than the moth (to paraphrase Casanova I think). I finally told him if he doesn’t want to make plans with me, then I can make other plans. Even though you like this man very much, there are other good men out there too.

The relationship I am in now frustrates me in some of the same ways. Either you are willing to do things on his terms or you tell him when you CAN go out and that if he cannot commit, you will make other plans.

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    ” This calls attention to the dynamic that when one feels intense passion for another person, flaws and inconveniences are hardly noticed.